That’s how I feel about my cancer, 5 years on I have no evidence of disease and I am very grateful to be alive. My body is not the same, after chemo, 3 surgeries and radiotherapy, and I am not the same either, not better, not worse, just different.
Many people talk about ‘getting back to normal’ but for me, I have to find a new kind of normal. I believe that cancer can be a wake up call, your body crying out for you to change. This is not to apportion blame, just accepting that I am responsible. Like many people I didn’t nurture myself enough, carrying guilt and shame, not caring enough to enjoy healthy nutrition, exercise and time to relax. Now I am very aware of when I need to take it easy, I no longer accept social invitations that I don’t want, I am happy to put my needs first. I was always too busy to look after myself, and too caught up in my work to take the time to feed my soul, with reading, meditating, prayer and song.
I know that our bodies are constantly renewing themselves, cells die and are replaced. So we can change, old negative thought patterns can be changed. We can change what is not working for us, our bodies tell us what we need to do, sometimes we just need a shock, like a cancer diagnosis, to make us stop and take notice. And with that diagnosis comes time, to reflect, and to change and heal. Now is the time to return to the natural balance that supports good health.
The easiest way to start that change is simply to be grateful. As I go to sleep, and as I wake each morning, I give thanks for all my blessings, I am loved. All is well.