How to Stop the Fear of Cancer Recurrence

As a 16 year Inflammatory Breast survivor and confidence coach, the question I get asked the most is

how can you stop living in fear of cancer coming back?

What can you do if you are constantly worried about your cancer might come back?

How can you have hope when the future seems so uncertain?

Here are my 3 top tips, part of my  Anti Cancer Lifestyle and how you can eliminate that fear of recurrence because I believe that living in fear is not really living. That fear and dread of recurrence, if you don’t deal with that, can really overshadow that what’s left of our lives, and none of us know how long we’ve got left. But surely we all want to live positive, inspired uplifting lives. After the devastation of a cancer diagnosis and then grueling treatment – do we not deserve to be happy? I think we do.

One of the biggest things that hit me after my cancer treatment was – when the treatments finished and the doctors waved me off – it wasn’t over.

It wasn’t just the physical recovery, I was exhausted physically and mentally. And for a while I was clinically depressed, tearful and anxious. But I got through that and so can you.

But to truly heal, it’s not just about removing the tumor or whatever illness you have, it’s about nurturing your mind, body and spirit, something I never found time to do, until a cancer diagnosis stopped me in my tracks and forced me to change the way I was living. 

1 Follow a plan

Having a structure, having a plan in place to deal with all the aspects that you might want to look at after your cancer treatment is finished really helped me. So thinking about your nutrition, exercise, your relationships, sorting out on any, any unfinished business that you’ve got, maybe sorting out your financial situation, your career,  all aspects of your life for truly holistic healing to start.

Working on a plan with somebody who’s there to hold your hand, somebody who’s been in your shoes, all our journeys are different, I know that but once you’ve recovered from a cancer diagnosis, it really just helps sometimes to talk to somebody who’s been there, and knows what life is like after cancer treatment ends.

If you have a plan, you know you’ve done everything in your power to stop the cancer coming back.

There are no guarantees of course with any of this, but if you have done everything that you can, that is such a powerful feeling, because when you get that cancer diagnosis, you feel helpless and weak at the time, your health is in the hands of your medics. The doctors that are looking after you are the experts, they get you through this treatment that you’re embarking on.

But once treatment is finished, you have the power to come up with a plan or work with somebody who can help you to say, ‘I’m doing everything that I can, I’m throwing everything at this’

I often say I studied cancer recovery and cancer remission, as if my life depended on it. Because – spoiler alert, it did. I was told my cancer was rare and aggressive. And IBC has a very high recurrence rate, my prognosis was not good. And so I just decided to study, follow other people, and follow other people’s plans until I devised my own. But having a plan means to me that I’ve done everything that I can to stop it coming back, and it’s given me comfort and a sense of control. And that’s a great feeling.

2. Master your self talk

The second thing that I’d like to ask you to think about is the question that a lot of cancer survivors ask themselves, and that is, ‘ but what if my cancer comes back?’

And it can get so that you are playing that question over and over in your mind, especially if you have trouble sleeping, these thoughts can come in the middle of the night.

We all have self talk, we all do it. I’ve talked before about the power of affirmations, and how they can really help you to have better thoughts. We all have the power at any one time to choose our way of thinking.

Sometimes people say ‘ well I couldn’t help it’  or ‘I can’t help worrying’. You might have to train yourself. It’s like learning any new skill. It might feel strange at first, but you can do this if you decide to stop negative thoughts running your life, So just remember that just tell that nasty thought when it’s coming into your mind to go away.  Just sweep it away and just say ‘no, I’m not listening to that.’ And affirmations are a great tool to help you to do that.

The other thing I would ask you to do is just to reflect on,  if you’re asking yourself, ‘What if my cancer comes back?’ Why not ask yourself the opposite of that? What if that cancer never comes back? What will my life look like then? If it never comes back what would I be able to do? What would I be able to be? What would I be able to achieve in my life? If the cancer never came back, what would I want to do? And then I would ask you to play that scenario out, in your mind have a little daydream, if you like, I used to get told off when I was younger for daydreaming, but I quite like this now is imagining my life in five years time,  in 10 years time, hopefully in 20 years time, thinking about what will my life be like, if I’m happy and healthy, and my cancer doesn’t come back?

3. Surround yourself with cancer thrivers

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
JIM ROHN – Self-made millionaire and successful author

This quote is often used by ambitious people who get serious about designing their lives. I would invite you to get serious about who you spend time talking to and listening to. I don’t listen any more to survivors who are living in fear – but positive role models who are living the way that I want to live.

No judgement here, it’s understandable after everything you have been through since your diagnosis to be afraid.

There are a lot of online groups, and I’ve joined a few of them in the past, where it’s full of people going through cancer. It can be useful to talk to people who understand. But quite often those groups are filled with fear. They can be filled with people saying, ‘Oh, what if my cancer comes back?’ and that opens a floodgate of comments with people agreeing that it can’t be helped to feel like that, and your fate is in the lap of the Gods.

I actually saw somebody writing in one group ‘Well, it always comes back, and there’s nothing you can do’. I think that is a strange belief to have, because it doesn’t always come back. That’s simply not true.

And secondly, if you believe that, it can almost become a self-fulfilling prophecy, when you are waiting, living In fear of that second diagnosis to be given to you. I’m not judging anybody here, my heart goes out to the woman who wrote that, and I am sorry that she is living like that, because she’s not learning how to overcome her fears.

We all have choices, and I choose to focus on the hope (and followed by inspired action of following my wellness plan) that my cancer will not come back.  And I choose to surround myself with cancer thrivers. I read their books, attend their seminars, I follow them on social media. My Facebook group Confidence After Cancer, does not allow any of that negativity.

And I’m not saying that every day is wonderful, because it’s not, life is full of ups and downs of course. You know, as Ronan Keating sang, ‘Life is a roller coaster’ But my group is full of cancer thrivers. And these are people, mostly women, there are some men in there as well, that are choosing to thrive after their treatment finishes. They are chasing their dreams, some of them are moving house, some of them are even moving to new countries, some are starting new relationships, some are starting new jobs, some that are pursuing qualifications that they’ve always wanted to study, some are starting their own businesses.

And that was like me, I really changed direction after my cancer diagnosis, I’d always enjoyed coaching. And that’s what I wanted to do, be a coach. So that’s what I do now. I also had dreams of being a journalist when I was a child, now I write blogs and record a podcast. At the age of 60 I started a YouTube channel. It’s never too late.

So surround yourself with people who are focusing on how good life can be, not how cruel it can be sometimes, because it’s cruel, and it’s unfair to all of us at times. I understand that but I don’t allow myself to stay there. For me, just as important as your physical recovery from cancer, is your mental recovery. Your health and your happiness and your joy. They are the goals that you should be pursuing, in my view, because that’s how I want to live my life.

That’s how I want to lead my Facebook group and on my socials as well. That’s a message that I want to share with people is, once your treatment is finished, it’s a tough time and nobody prepared me for how tough that was going to be. I really expected when my cancer treatment finished to be able to bounce back and just go back to being the person that I was before. But it wasn’t the same person. And my priorities, my goals, my outlook on life had really shifted, and I am determined to make the most of however long I have left.

It may be a cliche, but it’s so true, life is short, and life is what you make it.

So what do you want to make it? That would be my question I want to leave you with.

So in summary – stop the fear, follow a plan. If you haven’t got a plan, I’ve got one that I can share with you reach out to me and I’d love to talk to you about that.

Choose your thoughts. Don’t let those thoughts run away with you. You are in control of those thoughts, even if sometimes it feels like you’re not. You can learn to train your mind.

Surround yourself with positive uplifting cancer thrivers people who are living life, people who are making things happen.

Thanks for reading it means a lot to me, Gabby x

• You can download my ebook here if you want some simple steps to improve your confidence today

https://www.confidenceaftercancer.co.uk/page/262093

• Information on keeping safe by managing your exposure to toxins – click here

Toxins information PDF – Gabrielle Mottershead (confidenceaftercancer.co.uk)

• If you want to know more about a plan for healing mind, body and spirit when treatment ends – check out my online course – you can reclaim your health and happiness here: https://www.confidenceaftercancer.co.uk/page/264158-confidence-after-cancer

• To get help with Scanxiety – fear of hospital checkups – click here Overcoming Scanxiety – Confidence After Cancer

If you are ready to lose the fear and start living again – we need to talk – book a call with me here:

Feeling Triggered After Cancer Treatment Ends

Quite often people will say after cancer treatment ends, ‘I was thought I was doing really well, and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, boom! – an event, or something in the news will shake me, and take me back to a dark place’ A couple of things have happened this week that have really made me reflect on this. And first one was the death of somebody I didn’t know and had never met, Jacqueline Gold an amazing woman who was in the public eye, who died of breast cancer after a long battle. I know several other cancer survivors will relate to this. When you see somebody well known who you think has got a seemingly wonderful life, maybe they’re rich, famous, good looking , and they look like they have a perfect life (even though we know there’s no such thing) And then they  become very ill, or they sadly die from cancer, that can be such a jolt to your system. A stark reminder, as if we needed it, that cancer is everywhere, it doesn’t discriminate and money can’t cure it. I think part of the problem is we see people in the public domain, and we know so much about their personal life, sometimes it’s almost as if we know them. I remember when Princess Diana died, and that really affected me, I felt I knew more about her family and personal life and about her children than I do with a lot of my close friends. And so it’s not that surprising to think that when somebody in the public eye dies, it can have such a profound effect on us. Unfortunately illness and untimely deaths are all woven into life’s rich tapestry. Sadly, some people that we know, will die way before their time, before they make it what we consider old age, which is always sad but at least feels like the ‘right’ time, like they had enough years on this earth. But where do we go with that? And how can we stop that from completely derailing us? How do we stop those feelings that can lead us into a spiral of dark thoughts and depression? What can we do really to protect ourselves from becoming overwhelmed by these feelings?

Triggered by Mother’s Day

Another recent event was Mother’s Day in the UK. And for those of us who are lucky enough to have children, that’s a wonderful time to get cards and presents and hopefully enjoy a nice day where your children spend time with you and acknowledge all the things you’ve done for them. But for many people, it can trigger a lot of emotions about the relationships that they had, or they didn’t have, with their own mother. And I know how that feels, I had a difficult relationship with my mother. We were estranged for many years. It’s a long story I won’t go into that now. But I can certainly relate to how people see almost like a fairy tale of how a mother ‘should be’. Or they might see their friends, as I did as a child, with their caring, warm mothers who had a loving and close relationship. And that made me feel very sad and subconsciously like it was my fault, as if I didn’t deserve that love, and for a long time I felt it was because there was something wrong with me. I’ve made peace with that now, after many years, and a lot of therapy I can see that my mother was doing the best she could with what she had. No one had taught her how to mother. The anger and hurt I felt is now replaced by compassion for a woman who had a sad and lonely life. I also know quite a few people who wanted to be mothers, and we’re not able to be. There are a lot of different experiences and stories going on behind Mother’s Day, some happy, some absolutely heart-breaking. If you are reading this, I do hope that you’ve had a good relationship with your mother or that you are a good mother. But if you’re not in that place, let’s reflect on what I’ve written and talked about before.

It’s not the event, it’s what you make it mean.

So for me, as a  little girl and not being close to my mother, and being very jealous of my friends, who were close to theirs, who got the love I yearned for, for many years I made that mean that there was something wrong with me. Maybe I didn’t deserve that love. Maybe I wasn’t good enough. It took me quite a long time to get over that, many years of unhappiness over how I felt. And I worked with a coach and I worked with the therapists with through some of the feelings that I had of not feeling worthy. But I now realise that I’ve got a choice.  That’s my personal story, but I share it as it realize now it’s all too common. So going back to what triggers us, and what can we do when we feel that we’re being triggered? Most of us in our everyday life get triggered by something, sometimes it can be quite irrational. So you may hear a phrase,  or hear a piece of music or you’ll see something in a film. And it really just takes you back to a place in time. These feelings can be very powerful and debilitating if we don’t deal with them.

Why is it so hard to move forwards when treatment ends?

For some people with a cancer diagnosis it is very similar to post traumatic stress disorder. PTSD, people are talking more and more about that now, because it’s more understood than it used to be in the past, that when you’ve been through a very traumatic event, even years after the event, when you think you’ve dealt with it, you’ve put it away, it’s in the past, and now you’re moving on. But your mind still has too many painful memories and feelings that can hurt us. And people think that that after a cancer diagnosis, when you’ve had your treatment, perhaps you are ‘cured’ declared ‘No evidence of Disease’ or even told to celebrate because you are in remission. But now you are in uncharted territory, as you start your new life. You may expect to feel invincible, I know I did. But the reality did not match my expectations for many years. Quite often, it can be a very small event, it could be somebody in the public eye getting cancer, it could be something a story on a film or TV programme, it could be as routine as going back to hospital for scans that causes anxiety, or ‘scanxiety’ and worry about having to go for check-ups. There are a lot of things that can bring back those feelings, those feelings that may include fear, panic, sleeplessness,  worry, and anger, things that can seem to be outside of our control. So what can we do? I’ve spent a lot of time studying this, based on my own personal experience, also with many people that I’ve worked with who have struggled after a cancer diagnosis, to learn some strategies to cope with this.

Becoming Aware of your Triggers

Well, the first thing is really to become aware of these feelings, and become aware of what is triggering you, because we’re all different, we’ve all got our different stories, you’re not wrong or right, you are unique, and so maybe a unique set of things that may trigger you. And that’s nothing wrong with you, you just need to be aware of it. Because once you’re aware of it, we can think about some coping strategies for things that are going to come up in the future. Because unless you live in a cave, and you don’t have any contact with anybody else, things will come up in the future that may well trigger you again.

Building Resilience

Building  your resilience is a way to take back your power, to take your feelings that are valid, there’s nothing wrong with them, but to understand where they come from. And, to get those feelings working for you, not against you, putting you in a place of feeling empowered, rather than feeling helpless, and afraid and lost. Because you’re not lost my love, you may be going through a difficult time. That’s completely understandable, given what you’ve been through. Whatever your circumstances in life, nobody gets an easy ride. Particularly if you’ve been through a cancer diagnosis, the treatment and the unknown territory you are navigating when your treatment ends. I was so confused, feeling like, ‘I’m not really sure what I do with my life now, I’m not really sure why I feel so bad. Why do I feel so bad? Everyone’s telling me I should feel amazing, and I don’t.’ It’s recognising those feelings. I’ve talked before about stress, and about that fight or flight response that we all have. And that’s your body’s very clever way of keeping you safe. And sometimes these triggering feelings are just keeping you safe, your subconscious mind is saying– ‘remember that thing that happened? Well, you just need to be careful, it doesn’t happen to you again’. But unless you are being chased by an animal,  unless you’re in physical danger, the danger is  imagined, things that have not even happened yet. So we need some coping strategies to deal with that. One thing I’ve learned to do when I realise this is happening is to take some time out. Take some time for yourself, step back, take a deep breath. Hopefully, you’ve got some good relaxation techniques, maybe a meditation, or some deep breathing, there is tons of stuff like this on YouTube, find an instructor you like and follow them. I’ve struggled with being able to meditate but one thing that worked for me was looking at a candle and just watching the flame. Another thing that you can do if you’re feeling triggered, is to call someone and hopefully you’ve got a good coach or you’ve got good therapist, somebody that you can just talk to about these feelings, somebody that you can trust. If you haven’t, you’ve got me, you know that you can ping me a message. And part of your response just being human, you’re empathetic person. You’re feeling sympathy for that person and that’s good and sometimes, a little bit of a cry can be good but just don’t stay there, don’t allow yourself to get into a spiral of depression, which has happened to me before. And it’s, it’s can be a tough place to get out of.

Changing your state

Another thing is to change your state. Tony Robbins talks about this a lot, moving your body is a great way of changing your state. Simply changing your posture can make a huge difference to your mental state, trying standing up tall and adopt the stance of a happy confident person, it really helps. Some people like to go for a run. I’m not particularly a runner, but I love to dance, put some music on even if you’re on your own in your bedroom, in your kitchen, put some music and have a dance for five or ten minutes, and it will change your state. It really will allow you to think about something else, put on some music that makes you feel happy. Don’t stress about becoming an uncaring, unfeeling person, you are caring for YOU. This is all about your self protection. I’d really like to think about why you get triggered by events, just try and be quite detached from this reflection. Don’t try and analyse yourself, don’t tell yourself, you are wrong, though. Don’t tell yourself there is something wrong with you, because you’re just human. Think about what you can do to cope, because these feelings are going to come up again. There will be things that come up in life that could knock you back, that will all of a sudden just sometimes come out of nowhere. And it still happens to me. And sometimes it’s something really deep in your unconscious that you thought you dealt with. And it can be from many years ago, but it comes back. And that’s okay, as long as you don’t let it hurt you. You just understand it, and thank it for the lesson. My mantras now include : I’m so grateful that I’ve learned how to control my feelings. I’m so grateful that I’ve got good friend that I can speak to. I’m so grateful that I’ve got a good coach that will help me and guide me and put me in the right direction.

Am I grateful for my cancer diagnosis?

And it might be a stretch too far just to say, that I’m actually grateful for my illness, but I am grateful for the lessons I have learned while I rebuilt my life, and the clarity that I now have on what is important and what is not worth worrying about. I didn’t want to get cancer, I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, but I am grateful for my second chance at life. And I have learned that putting me first is not selfish, doesn’t make me narcissistic or a bad person. It makes me somebody who is worthy and worthwhile. And if you’re reading this, I just want to say thank you so much. It means the world to me. Please get in touch. If I can help you in any way at all. Stay safe, stay sane! I’d love to send you a free gift – from my heart to your heart – click below to get my book, Confidence after Cancer: click here to get your free book Gabby x

Can You Stop Worrying in a World That Is Getting Crazier by the Day ?

How are you? If you are from England like me, your instinct is probably to reply ‘I’m fine thanks’. That’s good manners right? And as a recovering people pleaser, I always want to be polite. 

But really – how are you? I want to know.

I’m asking because there is so much uncertainty in the world right now, and a lot of people I talk to are struggling.

We’ve been living in turbulent times these past two years. It’s no surprise if you’re feeling shaken.

When you’re surrounded by circumstances you can’t control, it’s easy for anxiety to creep into your body—clouding your mind, unsettling your stomach and tensing up your muscles.

So what can you do? This short video has a quick tip that has worked for me and many people I know. 

Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me. 

I’d love to send you a free gift – from my heart to your heart – click below to get my book, Confidence after Cancer:

click here to get your free book

Let me know what you think. Tell me what works for you. If you have anything at all on your mind that you need help with, get in touch. I’m a good listener, and here for you.

Stay safe my love, and stay sane!

Feeling Lost After Cancer Treatment? The Part of Recovery Nobody Warns You About

There is a strange moment after cancer treatment ends that I don’t think we talk about enough.

Everyone else is relieved.

You may even have spent months dreaming about this moment.

No more chemotherapy.

No more radiotherapy.

No more counting down treatment cycles.

No more organising your life around hospital appointments.

You should feel wonderful.

Shouldn’t you?

I certainly thought I would.

But when my own cancer treatment ended, I discovered something I hadn’t expected.

I didn’t immediately feel free.

I felt lost.

When everyone else thinks it’s over

During cancer treatment, life can become very focused.

You know what you have to do next.

Get through today’s appointment.

Get through this treatment.

Get through the side effects.

Get through this week.

There are doctors, nurses, appointments and plans.

Then suddenly treatment ends.

The cards eventually come down.

People stop asking for updates quite so frequently.

Your medical team isn’t quite so present in your everyday life.

And the rest of the world understandably thinks:

Great. She’s better.

Except you might not feel “better” at all.

You may be exhausted.

Your brain may feel foggy.

Your confidence may have disappeared.

Your body may have changed.

And perhaps the biggest shock of all is that the fear hasn’t automatically disappeared with the treatment.

That can be an incredibly lonely place to find yourself.

Why don’t I feel more grateful?

This is something I hear from women again and again.

“I survived. I should just be grateful.”

Of course you’re grateful to be here.

But gratitude and difficulty can exist at the same time.

You can be grateful to be alive and still grieve the body you had before treatment.

You can be grateful for your medical care and still feel terrified before a scan.

You can love your family deeply and still feel frustrated when they tell you to “move on”.

You can celebrate finishing treatment and still have absolutely no idea what comes next.

One feeling doesn’t cancel out the other.

You don’t need to police your emotions because somebody else has had a more difficult experience.

The woman you were before cancer

One of the most difficult parts of my own recovery was expecting myself to go back to normal.

I wanted my old life back.

I wanted my old confidence back.

I wanted to stop thinking about cancer.

Eventually I realised something important.

Going backwards wasn’t actually the answer.

Cancer had happened.

I couldn’t erase it.

And although I would never describe cancer itself as a gift, I could decide what I wanted to do with the life in front of me.

That became a very different question.

Not:

“How do I become the old me again?”

But:

“Who do I want to be now?”

That question changed everything.

Recovery can be quieter than you expect

We tend to imagine transformation as something dramatic.

A huge decision.

A new career.

A marathon.

A complete reinvention.

My experience is that real recovery is often much quieter.

It is the first morning you wake up and cancer isn’t your first thought.

It is laughing so much with someone that, for a while, you completely forget everything you have been through.

It is saying no to something you don’t want to do.

It is taking a rest without explaining yourself.

It is making a future plan and realising that you genuinely expect to be there for it.

It is wearing something that makes you feel gorgeous.

It is trusting yourself again.

These moments can seem insignificant.

They aren’t.

They are little pieces of your life coming back.

Maybe you don’t need your old normal

“Getting back to normal” is one of those phrases we use with the best intentions.

But after something as life-changing as cancer, I am no longer convinced that normal should always be the goal.

Maybe there were things about your old normal that weren’t particularly good for you.

Perhaps you were permanently exhausted.

Maybe work took everything you had.

Perhaps you spent years saying yes to everybody else and leaving yourself at the bottom of the list.

Maybe you kept putting off the things you really wanted to do because there would always be another year.

Life after cancer can give you permission to ask some uncomfortable but important questions.

What matters to me now?

What am I no longer willing to tolerate?

Who makes my life better?

Where am I spending energy I don’t have?

What would make this next chapter feel like mine?

You don’t need all the answers today.

Sometimes asking the questions is enough to start.

You are allowed to take your time

If you’ve recently finished cancer treatment and feel as though everyone else has moved on while you’re standing still, please know this:

You aren’t failing at recovery.

There is no deadline by which you should have everything sorted.

You don’t have to be permanently positive.

You don’t have to become inspirational.

And you definitely don’t have to pretend you’re fine to make other people comfortable.

Start smaller.

What would help you feel 5% better today?

A walk?

An early night?

Talking to someone who understands?

Writing down what’s worrying you?

Cancelling something?

Making one lovely plan?

Five percent is enough.

Then you begin again tomorrow.

Thriving doesn’t mean pretending cancer never happened

For me, thriving after cancer doesn’t mean waking up every morning filled with gratitude and never worrying again.

It means cancer doesn’t get to make every decision.

It means understanding yourself better.

Protecting your energy.

Rebuilding your confidence.

Making plans.

Finding joy.

And creating a life that feels worth being fully present for.

That’s also why I recently created Thriving After Treatment: Your Guide to Confidence, Clarity & Control.

It’s a free guide for women navigating exactly this stage of life — particularly the fatigue and brain fog, worries about work and money, and that lingering fear of recurrence.

I created the guide I wish someone had handed me when my own treatment finished.

If you’re in that strange “what happens now?” stage, you can download Thriving After Treatment free here.

Read it with a cup of tea.

Take what helps.

Leave what doesn’t.

And most importantly, give yourself time.

Cancer treatment ending isn’t the end of your recovery story.

It may simply be the beginning of a different chapter.

And you get a say in how that chapter is written.

Gabby x

Why You’re Still Exhausted After Cancer — Even When Everyone Thinks You’re Fine

There’s something I believe we do very badly in the cancer world.

We celebrate survival.

But we rarely talk honestly about what happens afterwards.

And because of that, many survivors are left feeling deeply confused when treatment ends and life doesn’t magically feel okay again.

As an 18-year inflammatory breast cancer survivor — and someone who now supports women after cancer professionally — I want to say something clearly:

Exhaustion after cancer is not always about fitness, motivation, or mindset.

Sometimes it’s the accumulation of trauma, hypervigilance, pressure, identity loss, and emotional survival.

And in my opinion?

Society dramatically underestimates this.

The Pressure to “Be Better”

One of the hardest things about life after cancer is that eventually people stop seeing your pain.

Your treatment may be over.

Your hair may have grown back.

You may have returned to work.

From the outside, you can look “normal” again.

But internally?

Many survivors are still carrying enormous emotional exhaustion.

Yet the world often responds with:

“Aren’t you just grateful to be alive?”

Or:

“At least it’s over now.”

And while usually well-intentioned, comments like this can make survivors feel guilty for struggling.

Because many people think recovery ends when treatment ends.

But that’s often when the emotional reality begins.

Many Survivors Don’t Need More Pressure — They Need Permission

I see this all the time with the women I work with privately.

High-achieving women.

Professional women.

Women who are used to coping.

Women who spent their whole lives pushing through difficult situations.

After cancer, many of them try to do the same thing.

Push harder.

Get back to normal faster.

Prove they’re okay.

But constantly overriding your nervous system comes at a cost.

And eventually the body speaks.

Through exhaustion.

Brain fog.

Anxiety.

Irritability.

Emotional numbness.

Difficulty coping.

Not because you are weak.

But because your body has been surviving for a very long time.

My POV: Healing Is Not the Same as Functioning

This is something I feel strongly about:

Just because someone is functioning…

does not mean they are healed.

Many survivors return to work while still emotionally overwhelmed.

Many are caring for families while secretly struggling.

Many are smiling while internally exhausted.

And because they are “coping,” nobody realises how much energy it takes just to get through the day.

I think we need to stop measuring recovery purely by productivity.

The real question is not:

“Can you function?”

It’s:

“Do you feel emotionally safe, supported, and connected to yourself again?”

Because those are very different things.

You Are Allowed to Recover Slowly

If you are exhausted after cancer right now, I want you to hear this:

You are not lazy.

You are not failing.

And you are not behind.

Your body and mind have been through something enormous.

Healing takes time.

And perhaps part of recovery is learning that your worth is not measured by how quickly you bounce back.

Sometimes healing begins when we stop asking:

“How do I get back to who I was before?”

And start asking:

“What kind of life do I actually want now?”

---

Ready for Support?

If this resonated with you and you’d like support rebuilding confidence, identity and emotional wellbeing after cancer treatment, you can book a Confidence Clarity Call with me here:

🔗 Book a Confidence Clarity Call

how to rebuild confidence after cancer

Why Social Media Feels Different After Cancer (And How to Fix Your Feed)

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Why Your Social Media Feed Feels So Wrong (And How to Fix It)

Have you ever opened your social media and thought…

“Why am I seeing this?”
“I don’t care about this anymore…”
“This just feels like noise.”

You’re not imagining it.

And more importantly… your feed isn’t broken.

It’s just reflecting an old version of you.

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Social Media Has Changed (Whether We Realised It Or Not)

There was a time when your feed was simple.

You followed people… and you saw their posts.

But that’s not how it works anymore.

Platforms like Instagram, Facebook and TikTok now prioritise interest-based content.

That means:
👉 You see more of what you engage with
👉 Not necessarily who you follow
👉 Not even what you liked in the past

So if your feed feels off… it’s likely because you’ve changed — but your behaviour on the app hasn’t caught up yet.

And I see this a lot with the women I work with.

After cancer treatment, your values shift.
What matters changes.
What you want to consume changes.

But your feed? It’s still showing you the old you.

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Why This Matters More Than You Think

This isn’t just about social media.

It’s about what you’re feeding your mind every day.

If your feed is full of:

• negativity
• comparison
• things that drain your energy

…it quietly impacts how you feel.

And when you’re already rebuilding your confidence and identity after something as life-changing as cancer, that matters.

A lot.

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The Good News: You’re Not Stuck With It

This is the part most people don’t realise…

👉 You can train your feed.

And it’s actually very simple.

The algorithm is constantly learning from you.

Every click, every pause, every like, every scroll…
it’s taking notes.

So instead of feeling frustrated — you can take control.

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How to Reset Your Feed (Without Starting Again)

You don’t need a new account.
You don’t need to unfollow everyone.

You just need to be intentional.

Here’s how:

1. Start Searching For What You Actually Care About Now

Use the search bar.

Look for topics that reflect who you are today, not who you were before.

This could be:

• healing
• confidence
• wellbeing
• rebuilding your life
• new hobbies or interests

Spend time there. Click into posts. Watch videos.

This is how you send a clear signal.

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2. Use the Explore Page (On Purpose)

Instead of mindless scrolling, go to the explore page and choose what you engage with.

Pause on content you enjoy.
Watch it fully.
Interact with it.

You’re essentially saying:
“More of this, please.”

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3. Engage With Intention

Don’t just scroll.

✨ Like posts that resonate
✨ Leave comments when something speaks to you
✨ Save content you want to come back to

These are strong signals to the algorithm.

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4. Tell It What You Don’t Want

This is just as important.

If something feels irrelevant, draining or just not “you” anymore…

👉 Hit “Not Interested”

Do this consistently and your feed will start to shift surprisingly quickly.

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This Is Bigger Than Social Media

This is about something deeper.

It’s about recognising that…

You’re allowed to outgrow what once fit.

And that includes:

• the content you consume
• the conversations you engage in
• the environments you place yourself in

Your feed should reflect who you are becoming — not who you used to be.

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A Gentle Reflection

If your feed could be filled with content that truly supported you right now…

👉 What would that look like?
👉 What would you want to see more of?
👉 What are you ready to leave behind?

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If You’re Feeling This…

This is exactly the kind of shift I support women with.

Not just changing what they see online — but rebuilding their identity, confidence and direction after cancer treatment.

If something in this blog resonated with you, you’re very welcome to book a Confidence Clarity Call with me.

We’ll talk about where you are now, what feels off, and what your next chapter could look like.

---

Remember…
You’re not stuck with the life — or the feed — you had before.

You get to choose what comes next.

And that starts with what you allow in 💛

Why Rest Is NOT a Setback (Especially After Cancer)

By Gabrielle Mottershead – Confidence After Cancer™

This past week, my body quietly staged a rebellion.
No drama. No fanfare. Just a soft but firm:
“Sit down, love. We need a moment.”

So I listened.
I rested.
A lot.

And — being honest — a tiny part of me felt guilty.
That old familiar voice crept in:

“You should be doing more… you’re falling behind… other people are sprinting ahead…”

But here’s the truth I needed to remember (and maybe you do too):

Rest isn’t falling behind.
Rest is resetting your power.

Especially after cancer treatment, rest isn’t optional. It’s medicine.

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💗 Why We Feel Guilty About Rest

Many women tell me the same thing:
“I don’t know how to slow down anymore.”

We’re conditioned to equate constant motion with success.
And after cancer treatment, there’s often this pressure — spoken or unspoken — to “bounce back,” to prove you’re strong, capable, resilient.

But the reality is different.

Your body isn’t a machine.
It’s a compass.
And sometimes it points firmly toward pause.

This week reminded me that resting isn’t a lack of discipline…
It’s a deep act of trust.

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🌸 A Truth We Forget After Cancer

Once you’ve been through the whirlwind of surgery, chemo, reconstruction, radiotherapy — your system changes.

You’re no longer powered by adrenaline.
You’re powered by alignment.

Your energy has new rhythms.
Your nervous system has new priorities.
Your wellbeing needs gentler seasons.

So if your body whispers, “Slow down,” it’s not betraying you.
It’s protecting you.

---

✨ Three Gentle Questions to Reconnect With Yourself

If you’ve been tired recently — emotionally, physically, spiritually — here are three small but powerful questions to ground you:

1. What does my body need today?
   (Honesty: sometimes the answer is “a nap.”)
2. Where can I soften?
   (There’s always somewhere.)
3. What can wait until tomorrow without the world collapsing?
   (Spoiler: nearly everything.)

Tiny questions. Huge impact.

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🌱 Rest Isn’t Laziness — It’s Preparation

You’re not losing momentum.
You’re not starting over.
You’re not being left behind.

You’re preparing.

2026 is coming — and it wants the most nourished, grounded, powerful version of you.

Not the burnt-out one sprinting to catch up.
The calm one.
The aligned one.
The one who trusts her pace.

---

💛 If You’re Craving Support for the Year Ahead

This time of year can feel overwhelming — physically, emotionally and mentally.

If you’d like support rebuilding your confidence, energy and sense of direction after cancer treatment, I have a few 1:1 coaching spaces open for December and January.

Together, we can help you:

• feel stronger in your decisions
• reconnect with your identity
• stop running on empty
• build a life and career that actually supports you
• step into 2026 with confidence

If that sounds like the right next step for you, simply send me a message or email saying “Tell me more.”

You don’t have to do this alone. 💗

🌟 Ways to Connect with Me

If this post resonated with you and you’d like more support, here are a few gentle places to begin:

💬 1. Book a Confidence After Cancer Clarity Call

A free, friendly chat to explore what you’re struggling with and how coaching could support your next chapter.
👉 Just message me to arrange a time.

🦋 2. Join my weekly Monday Morning Motivation newsletter

A short dose of calm, clarity and confidence delivered to your inbox every Monday — designed especially for women rebuilding life after cancer treatment.
👉 Subscribe through the sign-up box on this page. http://www.confidenceaftercancer.co.uk

🎧 3. Listen to the Confidence After Cancer Podcast

Over 130 episodes on healing, energy, identity, mindset and thriving after treatment.
👉 Available on all major podcast platforms.

📺 4. Connect with me on YouTube

I share gentle coaching videos, podcast episodes, and inspiration for your post-cancer journey.
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@Confidence_After_Cancer

💗 5. Work with me 1:1

If you’re ready to rebuild your confidence, energy and direction with support tailored specifically for you, I’d love to be part of your journey.
👉 Email me at gabby@gabriellemottershead.com or comment below with “Tell me more.”

how to rebuild confidence after cancer

Becoming Her in 2026: The Gentle Reinvention Method That Actually Works

As we approach the end of 2025, many of us feel that quiet whisper inside:
“Next year, I want things to feel different.”
“I want to feel more like myself again.”
“I’m ready for a fresh start.”

The good news? Reinvention doesn’t have to be dramatic. It doesn’t require a huge overhaul, a colour-coded life plan, or superhuman discipline.

Real, sustainable reinvention happens gently.
Quietly.
One tiny choice at a time.

This blog will guide you through a soft, realistic approach to becoming the person you’re meant to be in 2026 — without pressure, burnout, or perfectionism.

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Why Most People Get Reinvention Wrong

January is full of good intentions… and then February arrives with a heavy dose of real life.

The mistake most people make?

They try to change everything at once.

But real change isn’t created by big declarations — it’s created by small, consistent decisions.

This is how you do reinvention the right way.

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1. Start With Clarity (your brain will thank you)

One of the most powerful things you can do before the new year is to get your intentions out of your head and onto paper.

When your goals float around in your mind, they feel overwhelming.
When you write them down, they become decisions.

Try this:

• Use a planner (digital or paper — whatever you’ll actually open)
• Write your goals as if someone who believes in you is reading them
• Describe who you’ll become when you reach them

This makes your goals feel possible — and your brain starts treating them differently.

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2. Make a Vision Board That Actually Works

A vision board isn’t “woo.”
It’s psychology and neuroscience.

Your brain responds to repeated visual cues.
Show it the life you’re building, and it begins to believe it’s possible.

What to include:

• The energy you want to carry into 2026
• The way you want your home, mornings, and routines to feel
• Health, confidence, joy, connection, career
• Images that give you a physical response: calm, excitement, expansion

Tip:

Create your board in Canva and set it as your laptop wallpaper or phone lock screen.

Make your future self impossible to ignore. 😉

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3. Upgrade the Thoughts Holding You Back

You cannot build a new life using old limiting beliefs.

Thoughts like:

• “I’m not consistent.”
• “I always fall off.”
• “I don’t have time.”

These don’t help you — they trap you.

Replace them with gentler, more helpful versions:

• “I’m learning to show up for myself.”
• “I can start small.”
• “I figure things out as I go.”

Your entire inner world shifts when your thoughts do.

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4. Use Identity-Based Habits (not motivation)

This is the secret sauce.

Instead of chasing motivation, become the kind of person who does the things you want to do.

This is the approach made famous by James Clear in Atomic Habits — and it works.

Ask yourself:

Who is the 2026 version of me?

How does that version of you:

• start their mornings?
• look after their health?
• organise their week?
• run their business or career?
• speak to themselves?

Then… start with the easiest possible version.

Write for 10 minutes.
Walk for 5.
Learn for 15.
Create for 20.

These micro-habits don’t look life-changing, but they are the ones that stick.

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5. Growth Is Gentle — Not Dramatic

The person you’re becoming isn’t unrealistic.
They’re simply the result of tiny, consistent choices.

Reinvention happens when you choose:
“What supports the life I want?”
instead of
“What’s easiest right now?”

And when those choices stack up, that gap between who you are and who you’re becoming starts to close.

One powerful daily question:

“Did anything I did today support the person I want to become?”

If not — tomorrow is a fresh chance.

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Ready to Take This Further? Here’s How I Can Help You Become Her in 2026

If you’ve reached this point and you’re thinking:

💗 “I WANT this… I just don’t know how to do it alone.”
💗 “I need structure, support, and someone in my corner.”
💗 “I’m ready for the next version of me — I just need help getting there.”

Then I would love to support you.

Work with me 1:1 — Powerfully You™ Coaching

If you’re ready to build confidence, healthier habits, boundaries, energy, and a life you genuinely love… let’s talk.

✨ 12 weeks
✨ personalised plan
✨ mindset, habits, confidence + identity shifts
✨ private support
✨ full coaching to help you become your 2026 self

👉 Book a free clarity call here:
https://calendly.com/gabby-cac/free-discovery-call-confidence-after-cancer

This is the work I do with women every day — especially after cancer, life change, burnout, or major transition.
You don’t have to figure it out alone.

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More resources to help you today

📺 YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@Confidence_After_Cancer

🎙️ Podcast:
Confidence After Cancer — weekly episodes for your mindset & energy – on all podcast channels

🌐 Website:
http://www.confidenceaftercancer.co.uk

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Final Thoughts

Reinvention doesn’t need fireworks.
It doesn’t need perfection.
It doesn’t need a January declaration.

It needs you — showing up for yourself in small, compassionate ways.
And if you’re ready, I’m right here to help you make 2026 your most powerful, peaceful chapter yet.

🎵 If I Could Turn Back Time? No Thanks — I’m Moving Forward

We’ve all sung along to Cher’s iconic line — “If I could turn back time…” — hairbrush microphone in hand, channeling pure drama.

But recently, I caught myself thinking about that lyric… and realised something huge.

Turning back time isn’t the goal anymore.
Not for me. Not after cancer.

Because I’ve finally accepted that who I was before — that version of me — doesn’t exist anymore.
And that’s not a loss.
It’s liberation.

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The Old Me Wanted to Go Back

In the early days after treatment, I was desperate to rewind.
I wanted to feel “normal” again — whatever that even means.
I wanted my old energy, my old body, my old confidence.

I missed the woman who didn’t flinch at every scan result.
Who didn’t second-guess every ache or tired day.
Who didn’t carry fear like a secret shadow.

Everyone around me said, “You can finally breathe now.”
But peace felt alien.
I didn’t know how to stop bracing for bad news.

So I tried to recreate my old life — same routines, same pace, same expectations.
But it just didn’t fit anymore.

Because I wasn’t the same.
And pretending I was only made me feel more lost.

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You Can’t Heal by Going Back

Here’s what I’ve learned:
Healing isn’t about getting back to the woman you were before.

It’s about becoming the woman you were always meant to be.

Cancer has a brutal way of stripping life down to what really matters.
It burns away the nonsense, the people-pleasing, the overworking, the pretending.

It forces you to look at yourself — really look — and decide who you want to be from now on.

That’s not a backward journey.
That’s a rebirth. 🌸

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The Woman I Am Now

The woman I am now walks slower, but stronger.
She says no without guilt.
She chooses rest without apology.
She doesn’t live just to be grateful — she lives to be fully alive.

I don’t want to turn back time anymore.
I want to use my time well.

Because this second chance isn’t about going back — it’s about rising up.
It’s about creating a life that actually fits the woman I’ve become.

And honestly? That feels so much better than “normal” ever did.

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So If You’re Reading This, …

If you’ve come through cancer, or any life-changing storm, and you’re longing to “get back” to who you were — I see you.

But maybe it’s time to stop chasing the past.
And start creating your next chapter.

Because you don’t need to turn back time.
You just need to own your now.

✨ You are wiser.
✨ You are stronger.
✨ You are Powerfully You™.

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💕 Ready to Reclaim Your Confidence After Cancer?

If this resonates, come and join my free community and explore ways to rebuild your energy, confidence, and purpose after treatment.

Visit 👉 www.confidenceaftercancer.co.uk

Or tune in to my podcast 🎧 Confidence After Cancer on YouTube — for weekly inspiration on life after cancer.

Your friend and Cancer Recovery Coach

Gabby Mottershead

Winter Energy Reboot: 7 Tiny Habits That Stopped Me Feeling Tired and “Meh”

Hands up if the clocks going back makes you want to hibernate in a duvet burrito until April. Same.

For years, those dark afternoons would sneak in around 4pm and my motivation would sneak out. I’d drag myself through the day, then collapse on the sofa promising, “Tomorrow I’ll have more energy.” (Tomorrow politely declined.)

As a cancer recovery coach and 17-year inflammatory breast cancer survivor, I know winter can amplify everything: low energy, wobbly moods, disrupted sleep, and that “new normal” fatigue after treatment.

So last winter, I ran an experiment. No 5am alarms, no ice baths, no perfection. Just small, doable habits — the sort you can manage on a low-spoon day.

Spoiler: they worked. Not in a “I now love winter and knit my own mittens” way — but in a steady, real-life way.

Here are the seven tiny shifts that made the biggest difference.

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1. Sunlight First, Screen Second

Before I look at my phone, I open the curtains and soak up natural light for 3–5 minutes.

If it’s not raining sideways in Manchester, I’ll step outside with a cuppa. Even on cloudy days, morning light tells your body “We’re up!” and helps reset your body clock.

Try this: curtains open, deep breath, face the light. Then you can check Instagram. Promise.

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2. A Micro-Movement Ritual I’ll Actually Do

The gym in winter? Sometimes yes, sometimes absolutely not.

My non-negotiable is 10 minutes of movement at home while the kettle boils: gentle stretches, a few yoga poses, or a kitchen dance to 80s classics

Often ten turns into twenty. If not? I still moved. Win.

Try this: pick one song and move your body start to finish. That’s it.

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3. Warm, Nourishing Breakfasts That Tempt You Out of Bed

Cold smoothies are lovely in July. In November, my body begs for warmth.

I rotate porridge with nuts and berries, veggie-packed scrambled eggs, or leftover soup (yes, soup for breakfast — delicious, fast, zero faff).

A warm breakfast stabilises energy and gives you a reason to get up that isn’t “be a responsible adult.”

Try this: prep porridge “mix-ins” in a jar (seeds, cinnamon, chopped nuts) so breakfast takes 3 minutes.

4. Schedule Humans Like Appointments

Winter turns many of us into cosy hermits. Lovely in theory, not great for mood.

I book connection in the diary before the week fills up: a Tuesday coffee, a 20-minute walk with a neighbour, or a quick video chat with a friend.

If someone’s expecting me, I’m far more likely to show up — and I always feel brighter afterwards.

Try this: text a friend now: “Ten-minute tea call this week? I’ll bring the kettle.”

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5. Hygge the Heck Out of Your Evenings

Instead of fighting winter, I leaned in.

Soft blanket, warm lamp, candle, herbal tea, book — that’s my evening checklist. Early nights became seasonal self-care, not “I’m being boring.”

When the environment whispers “rest,” your nervous system listens.

Try this: choose one cosy corner and make it ridiculously inviting. Your future, sleepy self will thank you.

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6. The One-Tiny-Thing Rule

On low-energy days, big goals feel impossible. So I shrink them.

• “Write a chapter” becomes write one paragraph.
• “Clean the house” becomes clear one surface.
• “Workout” becomes five squats.

Tiny wins build momentum and self-trust. I keep a small notebook and list three micro-goals each morning.

Try this: write your three micro-goals now. Make them so small you could do them in a queue.

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7. Guard Your Sleep Like a Queen With a Crown

Winter already nudges our body clocks off-kilter; poor sleep makes everything louder.

I treat my bedroom like a sanctuary: cool, dark, screens off an hour before bed, same sleep/wake times (yes, even weekends).

No working in bed. No endless scrolling. Just sleep and reading.

Try this: set a “screens down” alarm. When it chimes, swap the phone for paper pages.

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When You’re Post-Treatment (or Just Human) and Tired

If you’ve finished cancer treatment, please remember: you’re not lazy — you’re recovering, recalibrating, rebuilding.

Your energy isn’t a moral issue. It’s information. On days when the spoons are few, these tiny habits still count.

They’re anchors that keep you close to shore when the winter fog rolls in.

Start with one. Not all seven. Choose the easiest, make it yours, and let consistency do the heavy lifting.

You don’t have to conquer winter. You just need a kinder rhythm for living well inside it.

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Ready to Thrive?

🌸 Learn more about my Powerfully You™ 12-Week Coaching Program

📘 Download your free Thriving After Treatment Guide

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Stay safe and stay sane!

Your friend, Gabby x

how to rebuild confidence after cancer

💼 Returning to Work After Illness: Why Employers Must Do Better

When I read about the UK teacher who was awarded £140,000 after being told she’d “let her colleagues down” for taking sick leave following a back operation, I felt a wave of sadness and déjà vu.

As a Cancer Recovery Coach and 17-year inflammatory breast cancer survivor, I hear similar stories all the time — brave, hardworking women made to feel guilty for taking time to heal.

At Confidence After Cancer, my mission is to help women rebuild their confidence, energy, and self-worth after treatment ends. And part of that healing journey is helping them navigate workplaces that don’t always understand recovery.

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⚖️ The Case That Sparked a Bigger Conversation

A teacher in North London, England, needed time off for back surgery and recovery. When she returned to work, a senior colleague told her she’d “let her students and colleagues down.”

The Employment Tribunal ruled those words amounted to disability harassment under the Equality Act 2010, awarding her £140,000 in damages.

Six words. Six figures.
And a powerful reminder that recovery is not a weakness — it’s a right.

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💡 Why This Story Matters Everywhere

This isn’t just about one teacher. It’s about a cultural problem in many workplaces — especially when it comes to people recovering from serious illness.

I work with women across the UK who return to work after cancer treatment, surgery, or long-term health conditions. Too often they’re met with frustration instead of flexibility, shame instead of support.

Employers have both legal and moral obligations:

✅ Legal — Under the Equality Act, employers must make reasonable adjustments and ensure that returning staff are treated fairly, without harassment or discrimination.
✅ Moral — Compassion is free. A supportive culture costs nothing but means everything.

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💬 Words That Wound

“You’ve let us down.”
It sounds small, but it cuts deep.

When you’ve already battled for your health, words like these can undo months of progress — emotionally and physically.

I’ve supported women who returned to work post-treatment and were told they were “taking advantage” of flexibility or “not the same as before.” Many left their roles not because they couldn’t do the job — but because they no longer felt valued.

That’s not just a personal loss; it’s an organisational one.

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🌿 What Employers Can Do Differently

If you manage or lead others, please take this as your wake-up call.

Here’s what truly supportive employers do:

1️⃣ Train managers to understand recovery. Health literacy and empathy should be part of leadership training.
2️⃣ Offer genuine flexibility. Hybrid working, phased returns, and manageable goals reduce stress and build loyalty.
3️⃣ Normalise open conversations. Recovery is nothing to hide — it’s a human experience.
4️⃣ Bring in expert support. Workplace coaches, wellbeing programmes, and peer mentors make a huge difference.
5️⃣ Review your language. “How can we help?” goes a lot further than “When will you be back to normal?”

When people feel supported, they return stronger — and stay longer.

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💖 My Work: Confidence After Cancer

I founded Confidence After Cancer because I saw the same pattern again and again: women finishing treatment and being told they should feel “lucky to be alive” — but quietly struggling to find their confidence again.

That’s why I created the Powerfully You™ Coaching Programme, designed to help women:
✨ Rebuild self-belief and identity after cancer
✨ Regain energy and motivation
✨ Return to work feeling confident, not fearful
✨ Set healthy boundaries to protect their wellbeing

If you’re returning to work after cancer or illness, please know this: you are not alone. You are not “letting anyone down.” You’re healing — and that’s the most powerful thing you can do.

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✨ Let’s Stay Connected

💌 Subscribe to my Monday Morning Motivation newsletter for weekly inspiration.
🎧 Listen to the Confidence After Cancer Podcast for uplifting stories and expert advice.
💬 Book a free clarity call to explore how coaching can support your return to work and beyond.

Visit www.confidenceaftercancer.co.uk to discover practical tools, blog articles, and programmes designed to help you go from surviving to thriving.

Because healing isn’t letting people down — it’s how we rise again. 💕

A cancer recovery coach explains why employers must support staff returning to work after illness. Learn how to rebuild confidence after cancer and create healthier workplaces.

The Hidden Struggles No One Warned You About After Treatment

You think the hard part’s over when treatment ends.
But for many of us, that’s when the real healing begins.

After months (or years) of hospital visits, appointments, and living in “fight mode,” the sudden silence after treatment can feel… disorienting. Friends expect you to celebrate, but inside, you might feel exhausted, anxious, or unsure who you even are now.

In Episode 124 of the Confidence After Cancer Podcast, I open up about what happens when the curtain falls on active treatment — and why so many survivors struggle in ways no one talks about.

🎧 Listen now: The Hidden Struggles After Cancer Ends
(available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube)

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💭 Why Recovery Can Feel Harder Than Treatment

During treatment, you have structure — appointments, medical teams, and a clear purpose: to get through it.
Then suddenly, it’s over. The support system disappears, and you’re left facing the emotional aftermath.

You’re told to “get back to normal,” but the truth is… there’s no going back.
You’re creating a new version of life — one that takes time, patience, and compassion.

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🌿 The Four Common Struggles After Cancer Treatment

After coaching dozens of women through this transition (and walking it myself), these are the four challenges that come up again and again:

1️⃣ Fatigue That Doesn’t Make Sense

You can sleep for 10 hours and still wake up exhausted.
It’s frustrating — but it’s also normal. Your body has been through a war, and recovery requires energy. The trick is learning how to pace yourself and listen to your body instead of pushing through.

2️⃣ Losing Your Sense of Identity

You’re not “the patient” anymore, but who are you now?
This identity gap can feel unsettling — like you’ve lost your sense of purpose. Reconnecting with your passions, values, and goals is key to rediscovering you.

3️⃣ Guilt That Sneaks In

Survivor’s guilt is real and often unspoken.
You might feel unworthy of your second chance, or find it hard to enjoy life fully. I’ve been there — and I want you to know that joy isn’t something you have to earn. You’ve already earned it by surviving.

4️⃣ The Fear That Lingers

Every twinge or symptom can bring a wave of anxiety.
This fear of recurrence can quietly control your life if left unaddressed. But there are ways to manage it — mindset tools, support groups, and coaching can all help you reclaim peace of mind.

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🦋 Finding Confidence Again

One of my clients shared that after returning to work post-treatment, she felt invisible.
She was scared to speak up in meetings and had lost all confidence.

Through our sessions, she reconnected with her strengths, began to set boundaries, and — little by little — found her voice again.
Her colleagues noticed. Her confidence grew. And eventually, she earned a promotion.

It’s such a powerful reminder that healing isn’t about bouncing back — it’s about moving forward with courage.

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💕 How You Can Start Thriving Again

If you’re feeling lost after treatment, here are a few gentle reminders to guide you:

✨ Rest without guilt — your body needs time.
📝 Write down small wins, even if it’s just “I made it through today.”
💬 Talk to someone who understands — a coach, survivor, or support group.
🌱 Remember: it’s okay to rewrite your story.

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🎧 Listen + Learn + Thrive

📘 Download your free guide: Thriving After Treatment

📲 Follow on Instagram: @gabby.mottershead
🌐 More resources: confidenceaftercancer.co.uk

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💬 Join the Conversation

What was the hardest part for you when treatment ended?
I’d love to hear your story — share it in the comments below or message me directly. Your words might be exactly what another survivor needs to read today. 💕

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Gabby Mottershead
Cancer Recovery Coach | Host of Confidence After Cancer Podcast
Helping women move from survivor to thriver.

Crossing the threshold, a gentle practice for new beginnings

Life is full of thresholds—the doorways between what was, and what’s to come.

Some thresholds are obvious, like finishing cancer treatment, starting a new job, or moving home. Others are quieter: the moment you decide to finally put yourself first, to stop overworking, or to live with more intention.

What often gets overlooked is how important it is to mark those moments.

That’s where a Threshold Practice comes in.

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What is a Threshold Practice?

A Threshold Practice is a simple ritual that acknowledges the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. It could be as simple as:

Journaling about what you’re ready to leave behind.

Lighting a candle and speaking an intention out loud.

Taking a mindful walk where each step represents moving into your new chapter.

The magic isn’t in the action itself—it’s in the pause, the acknowledgement, and the choice to consciously step forward.

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Why Threshold Practices Matter After Cancer

If you’ve completed cancer treatment, you’ll know this truth: the world thinks you’re “back to normal,” but inside, you’re not.

You’re standing in a doorway—between who you were before treatment and who you’re becoming now. That’s why Threshold Practices are so powerful:

✨ They help you let go of the weight of what’s behind you.

✨ They give you permission to claim your “new normal.”

✨ They remind you that you are not just a survivor—you are becoming a thriver.

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A Gentle Invitation for You

This week, try your own Threshold Practice. Ask yourself:

What am I leaving behind?

What am I ready to step into?

You may be surprised at how grounded, peaceful, and hopeful you feel afterwards.

And if you’d like more guidance on this journey, I’ve created a free resource just for you:

👉 Download my “Thriving After Treatment” guide here.

It’s full of practical tips to help you navigate life after treatment with more confidence and clarity.

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Continue Your Journey With Me

If this resonated, you might also enjoy:

🎧 The Confidence After Cancer Podcast — bite-sized episodes to support you every week.

📺 My YouTube channel — watch inspiring talks, tips, and strategies.

🌐 My website — explore my coaching programmes, resources, and upcoming events.

Because you don’t have to cross this threshold alone. Together, we can make your second chapter even better than your first.