Can You Stop Worrying in a World That Is Getting Crazier by the Day ?

How are you? If you are from England like me, your instinct is probably to reply ‘I’m fine thanks’. That’s good manners right? And as a recovering people pleaser, I always want to be polite. 

But really – how are you? I want to know.

I’m asking because there is so much uncertainty in the world right now, and a lot of people I talk to are struggling.

We’ve been living in turbulent times these past two years. It’s no surprise if you’re feeling shaken.

When you’re surrounded by circumstances you can’t control, it’s easy for anxiety to creep into your body—clouding your mind, unsettling your stomach and tensing up your muscles.

So what can you do? This short video has a quick tip that has worked for me and many people I know. 

Let me know what you think. Tell me what works for you. If you have anything at all on your mind that you need help with, get in touch. I’m a good listener, and here for you.

Stay safe my love, and stay sane!

Posted in depression, gratitude, healing, inflammatory breast cancer, Law of attraction, overwhelm, Positive Thinking | Leave a comment

Do You Ever Feel like No One Else Understands How You Are Feeling?

It can be hard when cancer treatment ends

How can you expect anyone else to understand when you don’t understand yourself?

From that feeling of relief or elation when you finish your hospital treatment, you may feel like you are in freefall, with no one to catch you. And where will you end up?

I assumed when treatment ended I would pick myself up, and go back to my old life. Except I had changed.

Have you ever heard the expression ; No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man. Heraclitus

That’s how I felt, I was different, not just exhausted, but mentally like someone I didn’t recognise. 

I was so guilty, surely I should have felt happy now that treatment is over. 

One big thing that helped me to get my mojo back was to declutter and detox my life.

Declutter my home – getting rid of anything not beautiful or useful. If feeling lethargic, just sorting out one drawer or cupboard helps me feel more in control, which in turn gives me more energy to tackle more. Again, if it’s all too much, start with your bedroom, make that a peaceful sanctuary. Having a beautiful bedroom helps me sleep better, and a photo on my bedside table that makes me smile is so nurturing.

Declutter my emails and phone contacts ; deleting and unsubscribing from lists  I don’t find useful – so liberating

Detox my commitments – I no longer feel guilty about cancelling anything that I don’t want to do – selfish? No, more self preservation.

Detox my diet – Studying nutritional healing and making lots of small changes to my diet has helped my energy levels

Make space for the new, and clear the decks because there are great things coming when we create space for them. Decluttering is the simplest and most powerful strategy to clear your mind. And we need peace and space for healing to take place.

I used this as the first step to build my new life

If you want to be able to move forward with joy and happiness, – then Confidence After Cancer course maybe for you

Confidence after Cancer.

Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me. Please reach out if I can help you in any way, I’m a good listener

Gabby x

Posted in breast cancer, cancer, cancer charity, clutter, depression, detox, healing, inflammatory breast cancer, overwhelm, Positive Thinking | Leave a comment

Would You like to Feel Good Again?

Hiya lovely 

If you’ve ever wanted to get your mojo back, lose weight and feel more energetic, but you’re struggling, then you’re going to want to read every word of this…

You see, I was a lot like you. When I finished cancer treatment I went from being focused on surviving, to trying to piece my life back together again.

before1

It was tough. I was bloated from steroids, exhausted and just about lost all belief that I would ever feel better again. This is me 4 weeks after mastectomy, following 5 months of chemo. Rock bottom for me.

I’ve been on an epic journey, it’s taken years. I tried some things that worked for me, that are now habits I don’t even think about. I tried lots of things that made no difference, just increased my frustration and anxiety. 

I joined some online ‘support groups’ that depressed the hell out of me.

But I pressed on in the hope that one day it would be worth it. And it was. I persevered, and I rebuilt my life. 

I changed my way of thinking, which helped me conquer my fears. Once I had my mindset right, I could then work on my diet, and lifestyle changes, everything to get me to my goal of ‘cancer free’

And 14 years on, here I am, I’m trained as a Confidence Coach, I am happy, healthy and fearless.

And I have packaged everything that worked for me into a 12 week course. Short modules, every week, no more than 20 minutes. 

Would 20 minutes a week to change your life be worth that investment?

Check it out for yourself here:

Confidence After Cancer

Countdown to Oct 8, 2022 06:12pm

The ‘early bird’ price will expire on 8th October, if you enrol today you can save $200

With much love, from my heart to your heart, 

Gabby x

P.S. If have any questions, please hit reply and get in touch. This course will work for you too!

See for yourself now at  Confidence After Cancer

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The roller coaster of cancer treatment – and recovery

How it can feel when treatment finishes

If you have not had cancer treatment, it can be hard to imagine what it feels like when the day comes for your medical team discharge you. For me they never used the words ‘in remission’ with Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the best you can hope for is NED – ‘No Evidence of Disease’. But I’ll take that. 

Such mixed emotions, I was happy that the chemotherapy, mastectomy and radiotherapy all appeared to have done the job of getting rid of that disease. My friends and family celebrated with me, and I expected to feel elated, exhilarated even, after all I had ‘fought bravely’ and won – right?

Instead I was weepy, exhausted and depressed. I was mourning the old me, the carefree me that could make plans for the future. I missed my old body, and hair, my thick healthy hair, that everyone said would grow back after chemo was done. Except it didn’t. I was torn between thinking of this as a mere vanity, after all my life had been saved. But I felt dreadful, I didn’t recognise this old woman staring back at me in the mirror. For a while I lost all hope, and I struggled to understand why.

This quote helped me enormously, written by a Doctor who understands.

“Imagine a roller-coaster – I have chosen this image to represent the process of the diagnosis and treatment of cancer.

On a rollercoaster, you will be strapped in and sent off into the terror, knowing that there is nothing you can do about it until you emerge, wobbly and battered at the other end.

You manage by getting your head down and dealing with it as best you can at the time.

It is only afterwards, when you are on solid ground again, that you can look back with amazement and view what you have experienced and marvel at your courage.

This seems to be an analogy for what happens after diagnosis and during treatment.

The end of the ride is equivalent to the end of treatment – at the point where you can begin, bit by bit, to deal with all that you have been through and all that is to come.

You may have had to endure months of treatment by knife, chemicals or radiation until you are probably sick of the whole business, both literally and metaphorically.

Now is the time to heal, both body and mind.”

Dr Peter Harvey – Consultant Clinical Psychologist

Now I can look back at my cancer journey, as time passes it does become easier. I have also thrown myself into studying health and nutrition, I want to give myself the best possible chance of a long and happy life. And it helps me to help others, as a cancer survivor, no one understands what you have been through, except…….another cancer survivor. Facebook cancer support groups made my anxiety 10 x worse. I wanted a support group for those who are ready to close the chapter on cancer, so I created this my own, click here to join us Confidence after Cancer.

Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me. 

I’d love to send you a free gift – from my heart to your heart – click below to get my book, Supreme Confidence:

click here to get your free book

Posted in breast cancer, cancer, chemotherapy, depression, inflammatory breast cancer, No evidence of disease | 1 Comment

7 Habits of Confident People

Confidence is often the difference between people who get what they want and people who don’t. Those who think and believe they can do something — run a marathon, lose weight, get the job or the partner of their dreams, start a business, build a loving and fun social circle, they make it happen.

Our mind is a very powerful tool, and the impact of our thoughts and words cannot be underestimated. Our thoughts create our emotions. Our emotions create our actions. Our actions create our life. Confident people have greater control over their minds and have tuned their attitude to life from ‘Poor me’ to ‘Why not me?’

Here are seven things that confident people do that you can apply to your life:

1. Keep it simple. You want something? Amazing! Create a plan to make it yours. Keep your focus on what you want and do not get distracted by other people’s noise or by your own ability to over-think.

2. Focus on what you want. Confident people keep a positive vision in mind of the future. They expect good things to happen to them, and as a result they do, as expectation is a very powerful force.

3. Use words with intention. The words we use are so powerful, especially the ones we say to ourselves. Talk to yourself as you would a dear friend, be kind, compassionate and generous with praise. The world is full of critics, don’t be one of them. As Louise Hay said, “Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

4. Listen but don’t let others’ opinions distract you. Other people are well meaning and sometimes err on the side of caution. Confident people listen to other people but do not let their difference of perspective take them off track. Remember these people are not you, nor do they pay your bills. It’s your life!

5. Dedicate time to what matters. Confident people are happy to say no to things to make sure they have time and energy for their priorities. Setting boundaries is a form of self love, when you put what you want at the top of your agenda. And mostly, people will treat you with more respect as a result.

6.Confidence is not arrogance. Confident types don’t talk endlessly about their successes. You have no need to convince others about how great you are, because you know that you are. Some people may not will like you, but that’s OK, because they are  not your people. Your people will love the wonderful, authentic you, so just be yourself. Confident people let their success speak for itself and don’t need to brag.

7.Know failure is sometimes part of life and don’t fear it. Worrying about failure can keep us from doing anything at all. Confident people are still confident even when they fail. All things pass, the difference is building your resilience so that set backs do not destroy you.

The most successful and happy people are not born the most rich, beautiful or talented. They just believe in themselves and go for what they want. The good news is that  Confidence can be learned, by following a series of steps. Is it easy? It really can be.

“I can” and “I can’t” thoughts create very different emotional states, as the mind is open to suggestion and follows whichever path we direct it. Which do you choose?

I’d love to send you a free gift – from my heart to your heart – click below to get my book, Supreme confidence:

https://www.survivors2thrivers.world/page/262093

Posted in inflammatory breast cancer | Leave a comment

How To Get Out Of A Dark Place – fast

It’s easy to believe that every day is special when things are going well. Yesterday I had a big disappointment, no need to share the personal details here, but for a while I was very upset, then full of despair as my mind began thinking of all the worse case scenarios that could ensue from this event.

This is despite my years of training in coaching, and learning how to control those pesky unhelpful thoughts, I am only human and I still succumb to negative thinking on occasion. In the past this has led me into depression and a sense of hopelessness. The difference is I now have learnt many ways to make sure that I don’t stay in that dark place.

One of the coaching tools I use with clients is to reflect on what research has shown us – that when we go through challenges, uncomfortable as it may  be, there are at least three gifts that we can take away from this situation.

Initially I couldn’t see this, I was far too emotional to process this. There were tears. But after sitting quietly with this, I did come up with three insights. This helped shift my mood enormously, and although I was still sad I  began to appreciate what we all know, life is full of ups and downs, what matters is how we respond to challenges, how resilient we are. I know this, but this was a painful reminder.

And after a good night’s sleep I am indeed grateful for the three gifts, and more, and what I have learnt about myself. Still learning, still growing and ever grateful for my life, it’s not perfect but I am truly blessed.

I have shared this quote before, and I looked at it with fresh eyes today:

Cancer taught me to stop saving things for a special occasion. Every day is special. You don’t have to get cancer to start living life to the fullest. My post-cancer philosophy? No wasted time. No ugly clothes. No boring movies. – Regina Brett

I love this approach, what would you add to this list? Mine are:

No shoes that hurt.

No spending time with people who bring me down.

No working in a job that saps my soul.

What would you add? I’d love to know what you think.

Posted in breast cancer, cancer, depression, gratitude, healing, overwhelm, PMA, Positive Thinking | Leave a comment

14 years – Happy cancerversary to me

Wow, 16th May already. Is it just me, or is this year flying past?

This is a date that is very special to me, in 2008, just a few short months after my Inflammatory Breast Cancer diagnosis, and months of chemotherapy, a scan result showed ‘No evidence of Disease’ – not ‘cured’ or ‘in remission’, you never get that with IBC. 

But NED is good enough for me.

And many years have passed now, for me to look back at this scared woman, and I can feel proud that I have survived. And the guilt I used to feel for living when so many didn’t, that has gone now.

Largely due to the overwhelming love from my family, and the heart explosion of love I have for my grandchildren. I am just so grateful to be here. And the more I love life, the more it loves me, thank you Louise Hay, one of my inspirations, for these wise words.

LIFE IS VERY SIMPLE. WHAT I GIVE OUT COMES BACK TO ME. TODAY I CHOOSE TO GIVE LOVE.

Posted in breast cancer, chemotherapy, gratitude, inflammatory breast cancer, manchester, No evidence of disease, PMA, Positive Thinking | Tagged , | 2 Comments

10 steps to go from overwhelmed to calm

Overwhelm

More and more of us are feeling overwhelmed. With all that is going on in the world, and trying to keep on top of our lives, it can sometimes just all get too much. No matter how great we get at delegating, how successful our time management strategies or how many hours we have in our week.

Whatever your specific context, these 10 tried and tested steps are designed to move you from total meltdown, to feeling calm and focussed as smoothly as possible.

So, next time overwhelm strikes, take a deep breath, keep calm, and work through this checklist. You’ll be back to your capable, powerful self before you know it.

1. Stop

First things first – take a break and replenish your energy. Grab a mug of tea, coffee, or a giant glass of water: whatever will help you stop, steady and calm.

Breathe – You’ve got this.

2. Recognise it’s OK

Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Turn off that inner critic, or inner chatter that keeps telling you everything that is wrong in your life. This is the time for some love and kindness – to yourself.  Send some love to the part of you that is worn out and had it.

Of course you’re overwhelmed – look at what’s going on! It doesn’t mean anything about how capable or effective you are, it happens to all of us, and it’s a perfectly normal response to everything that’s going on right now.

3. Dump it out

Grab the workbook (a piece of paper or your notebook will do!) and dump out absolutely everything that’s weighing on your mind. And I mean everything. Big, small. Tasks, decisions, conversations, concerns. No judgment- just get it all out in one big list. Keep going until it’s all on the page.

4. Be your own best friend part 1:

The Big Ditch

Now, assume the role of your own best friend. Someone who cares about you, deeply, is unwaveringly honest, and has zero guilt about helping you do what you need to.

Sit down quietly with yourself (with more tea perhaps?) and commence “The Big Ditch”.

Firmly, honestly, and with love, cross anything off the list that:

  • You can do nothing about
  • Is not urgent in the next couple of days and will resurface of its own accord
  • Will never get done, so is foolish to worry about right now
  • Will take care of itself in time

5. Be your own best friend part 2:

Delegate

Assume the role of best friend once more. Now it’s time to help yourself decide which tasks or concerns you should seek support with.

GET CREATIVE – this isn’t (necessarily!) about having a team of staff to call on. Where could you reach out for support from your partner, your neighbour, your friends, your connections on Facebook…

Go through what’s on your list and determine:

  • Could someone (anyone) do this almost as well as me? (Note: “almost” – what matters isn’t doing everything yourself, or doing it ‘perfectly’ it’s finding a way out of overwhelm)
  • Would it take me less time to pass it on right now?
  • If I assumed that everyone I asked would say yes- what would I hand over?
  • Are there any emotional issues or worry that a good chat with someone would help me with?

For everything you can involve someone else with – use your notebook to jot down who, and make action steps to contact them and ask.

Now do it! Send the text, fire off the personal message, write the email.

(Remember – if the shoe were on the other foot, would you be happy to be asked to help out a colleague or peer who’d reached breaking point? You certainly wouldn’t blame them for asking – the worst someone can say is no!)

6. Refocus on the big picture

Breathe.

What are the most important things in your life right now? If you were the Queen of Calm and Serenity, what deserves attention? What’s a needless distraction?

7. Prioritise

Now, go through and prioritise.

Be ruthless. Your whole task here is getting extremely focused on only those things you must do right now.

Once you’ve narrowed your list down by ditching things that don’t really need to be done and deciding to delegate anything you possibly can, then you prioritise everything that’s left according to ABC:

A: Absolutely must be done today

B: Be nice if it gets done today… but no-one will die if it doesn’t.

C: Could happen today, or tomorrow, or even the day after. Not too immense right now.

Then for all your As, order then 1,2,3 etc in the order you will attack them

Do the same for your Bs, and Cs.

(remember: asking for delegation support should be way up the top of the list!)

8. Time to replenish again.

Get ready.

I cannot emphasise enough how important it is not to skip this step! Leave your list alone and

So… make yourself another tea. Step outside and breathe in some fresh air. Stretch. Have another break to replenish your energy. Go to the toilet because you’ve drunk so much tea! Really take the time to get yourself in the best emotional state you can in whatever way works best for you. Have a walk, a run, a bath, do some yoga stretches, watch something utterly irrelevant on Netflix. Get ready.

go do something else for twenty minutes.

9. Eat the elephant

Look at your list.

Finally, once you’ve replenished, you can have another look at your list. If there aren’t any “As” on it, then quite frankly the best thing you can do is to answer the very clear call from your body to stop and rest for a while. It’s incredible how much more effective we are when we take the time to stop and take care of ourselves – you’ll probably surprise yourself with how quickly you move through your list when you’re ready.

If you do have some “A”s, then start on just one tiny thing off that list. Remember the old saying about eating an elephant? You can’t eat an elephant in one mouthful, but you can if you do it one bite at a time. So do it like that — just take one bite, and then do a little replenish, and then take another bite.

Keep the self-love flowing through the process, and if you suddenly get additional clarity about something you can ditch or delegate, do it.

10. Rest and reward

Take a mini-break.

After every task, concern or worry that gets resolved from the list, take a mini-break and reward yourself.

A personal high-5, a stretch in the fresh air, a celebration post on social media, another tea!

Remember to treat yourself gently. You’re still in overwhelm recovery for a day or two after a melt-down.

Thanks to One of Many for their guidance and support always

Posted in breast cancer, clutter, depression, healing, inflammatory breast cancer, natural healing, No evidence of disease, overwhelm, PMA, Positive Thinking | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Easter! 

And may all your Easter eggs be 70% cacao.  There’s plenty of evidence to suggest that dark chocolate is good for you, and so you can munch away without even a hint of guilt.

Dark chocolate is especially good for regulating blood pressure and cholesterol, and it’s an antioxidant that’s rich in fibre, iron, magnesium, and copper.

Chocolate won’t be the only thing you’ll be eating over Easter that can give your health a boost.  To demonstrate the point, the Center for Food as Medicine has prepared a 335-page review of the health-giving qualities of food, and they back it up with around 2,500 references and citations.

There’s overwhelming evidence to show that food has a profound impact on our health for good and bad.  The report’s title says it all: ‘Food as Medicine: How Food and Diet Impacts the Treatment of Disease and Disease Management’ *

Food can counter disease and reverse it, just as the father of medicine had suggested more than 2,500 years ago.  But modern medicine has taken a different path and has abandoned food and nutrition for pharmaceuticals. Why? Well as with most things, follow the money, but I’m not here to talk about that.

Nor am I here to blame doctors, most of whom are ethical, caring professionals who want to save your life. However, the report points out that many of the medical schools in the US don’t require their students to take even basic nutrition courses “leading to a lack of confidence and knowledge” among doctors. This is also my experience in the UK.

And even the schools that are absolute sticklers for nutritional training usually provide no more than nine hours’ tuition in a three-year study course.

People can’t turn to their doctor for nutritional advice, but nor can they rely on the major advisory groups.  In the US, the American Dietary Guidelines has for a long time been influenced by Big Food, which, as a result, has been silent on the impact on health of fast and processed foods and drinks.  Even the importance of proper food has been subsumed into the general ‘balanced diet’ edict, which is meaningless to everyone and yet which is constantly cited by the entire medical community.

The more enlightened spout the ‘five-a-day’ golden rule, which is almost as meaningless and which, even if it was understood, is woefully inadequate to sustain good health. The long and short of it is that medicine has been hijacked by money, from Big Pharma and Big Food.  What’s the remedy?  I believe we all have to take responsibility for our own health and remember that doctors should be our servants not our masters. I am incredibly grateful for the medical team that looked after me through my cancer treatment, I was scared and facing a cancer diagnosis, I followed their advice to the letter, they were the experts and I was a novice in the world of cancer treatment. But I also began to look at ‘alternative’ treatments to support my chemotherapy, surgery and radiotherapy. I am not here to give medical advice. But I fervently believe we can all do well to look after ourselves, and prevention is always better than cure. A healthy diet, plenty of fresh air, exercise, quality sleep and water will always set you up for good health. Nurture your mind, body and spirit as they all work together to support you. Use medicine when you need to, and in emergencies, but otherwise be your own doctor, using natural remedies and nutrition. 

And a good place to start is with that dark Easter chocolate egg.


Stay safe and stay sane.

*Thanks to WDDTY for sharing this report.

Posted in breast cancer, cancer, chemotherapy, healing, inflammatory breast cancer, natural healing, No evidence of disease, PMA, Positive Thinking | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are you struggling to feel happy that you have survived cancer?

Do you feel like you have the ‘sword of Damocles’ hanging over you?

When you finish treatment it can be like the safety net has been taken away, the healthcare professionals wave you goodbye. Your friends and family breathe a sigh of relief that it is ‘all over’. You may feel exhausted, confused and anxious. But everyone expects you to be happy.

The “sword of Damocles” is a modern expression, which to us means a sense of impending doom, the feeling that there is some catastrophic threat looming over you.  That’s not exactly its original meaning, however.

The expression comes to us from the writings of the Roman politician, orator, and philosopher Cicero (106-43 BC). Cicero’s point was that death looms over each of us, and we ought to try to be happy in spite of that.

How do you move forward?

It may sound morbid, but it helps to remember that everyone you know will die one day. Sorry to break it to you. We all have an expiry date. The only certain thing in life right? Death and taxes.

But what we can change is how we react to whatever life throws at us.

There is one tip I teach in my confidence course, and that is you cannot be focussed on fear and also on gratitude and love at the same time. So you can practice gratitude rituals that will make the fear subside. It takes conscious effort at first, like any new skill, but you can train those pesky thoughts in your head to be your best friend, not your worst enemy.

I will be launching my Confidence After Cancer course soon, with lots of tips on how to get from anxious survivor to happy, healthy thriver. Watch this space!

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